she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize