I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
