yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Randomize
