Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Randomize
