ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Randomize
