Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
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