The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
