When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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