You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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