I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize