youre lurking in front of me
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
