Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I want to be your penis for a week.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Randomize
