yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
