Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
