I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I CAN MOONWALK!
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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