Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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