remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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