$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize