I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
