At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Randomize
