I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
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