did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
