so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Randomize
