My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
