sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
