yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize