I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Sext me about skeletons
YAS. BRING CRAB.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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