What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
It was a blind-side dick pic.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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