I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
smell my finger.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
