It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
