His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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