Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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