I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
i think i just lost a toe
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
