I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize