So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize
