Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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