yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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