Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
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