I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
