I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
