I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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