You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
