I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
