dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
It's blow job season.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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