I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
