I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
