Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I just blew my weed a kiss
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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