I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
this just has baby written all over it
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
