Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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