Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Randomize
