If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Randomize
