The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
