I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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