he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
