Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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