I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
