I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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